I just feel that if you really want to step up to a confrontation with me, please kindly complete this mental process to evaluate if you should.
-status of friendship with me
-how much I care about your opinion
-if your intentions are good-natured, or ‘for my own good’
*If your reply is negative or not ideal in any of the above, avoid confrontation. Any attempt to confront will lose you HP. Should you insist to confront, please do not complain about my reaction.
If your reply is positive, proceed to evaluate need for confrontation based on these questions:
A. Do her decisions or thoughts really affect you?
if yes, proceed to B.
If no, you are just making a fuss out of nothing. Avoid confrontation.
B. Can you claim to know at least 95% of everything that happened?
if yes, proceed to C.
if no, go find out first. Before that, any attempt to confront will result in Vivien calling for someone to pass her a gun to shoot you.
C. Has Vivien showed evidence that she is aware of the problem?
If yes, proceed to D.
If no, sit her down and ask if she knows about it. If she doesn’t, let her know politely.
D. Has considerable time passed since the problem occurred, allowing her reasonable time to have prayed and thought everything through, evaluate options, calculate possible outcomes, weigh benefits against costs, run multiple repeated mental simulations before making a call to action?
-If yes, proceed to E.
-If no, either you sit her down and ask her what she thinks and be prepared for an incomplete answer, or you leave her alone to think about it before proceeding to E.
E. Has she acted on it?
-If yes, first ask her why, and then share what you think.
-if no, first ask her what she thinks about it, then share what you think.
F. Do your opinions clash with hers?
-if yes, make sure you have a good justification for it (enough to convince yourself), proceed to G.
-if no, give her a hug and figure out the next steps together.
G. Are you willing to step down from a confrontation if thrashing out shows that you have misunderstood something or that you are wrong?
-if yes, go ahead and confront with gentleness.
-if no, do not confront or play passive-aggressive until you fix your pride issues.
**I am not being arrogant. I just know myself well enough. I will instantly flare up if something goes too wrong with this process. If you have good intentions and you really want me to be a better person out of it, then focus on getting your precious message through the easiest and most painless way possible.