i melted

I just melted when I heard the first line. Hahaha. I don’t know why I just really like it. Maybe because it is just super sweet to have a guy hold out for you like that? But then again, I also think it could be borderline creepy kinda guy, you know, like stalkerish? But I suppose if it was someone I had an affinity with, like someone I could genuinely share with freely, someone who can accept how complicated and weak I really am. Haha. I suppose if it’s someone like that, it will be pretty cool.

Though, I do wonder if such a guy exists.

But never mind the thoughts about romance, I think the song is really nice.

Music gets me good, always. Haha.

is it so difficult?

why is it beyond some people to see that:

(1) if i have more information than you, then naturally by human wisdom, my opinions should have more weight. and that will be true until you prove that you have more information or you point out a knowledge gap

(2) i will present both possibilities to you. i cannot only agree on any single possibility. if your intention is for me to agree on one and disregard the other, you can leave

(3) when you ask persistently or incessantly, it doesn’t mean i will change my mind. but, i can assure you i will be very very annoyed.

(4) i will begin to change my mind if you change yours or reframe your argument or show me you are understanding what i am saying

(5) if it’s just about forcing me to agree with you, forget it, i don’t want to talk

(6) if you have betrayed my trust before, good luck trying to make me even listen to anything you say, even if it’s correct. but if you believe in it, i would love for you to be apologetic first, then tactful and persistent to get the message across.

(7) i will have opinions, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s emotional. it’s usually only emotional when i have determined logically how dumb or ridiculous it is.

(8) nothing is absolute, nothing. don’t ask me to agree with something absolutely. that may happen, but probably not within your lifetime or mine, which also means, ‘never’

genesis 16

I led a BS on Genesis 16 today.

I am amazed by how timely this lesson is.

Right smack in the middle of this storm I am facing.

Even the sermon this week, as a dear friend said, was just meant for me.

That, when we pray for God’s will to be done, we assume many times that it is something that will bless us and we will feel happy and comfortable with it. But the fact is, it probably would not. It would really hurt sometimes. It may hurt so much that it even feels painful and heartwrenching to mutter silently ‘I trust in You, let Your will be done.’

But yesterday, I cried out to God about every pain and trouble in my life that would cause me distance from and doubt against Him. Nope, no lightning or whatever. Just silence and His peace, which was enough for me..

for a while.

That’s why I need Him every single day. I really do.

quite excited to lead BS again

It’s been a rather long time since we had bible study in my baby cell.

I am not very good at these bible study thingys.

But I just like to share my thoughts and the lessons I learnt with everyone. I sure do hope that’s okay. And I do pray God will speak through me and into their lives.

I recently signed up as a like erm, instructor for leadership workshops with this company, Unity Movement. The founders are pretty cool people, and I am just thinking very deep into this whole thing, and really, just asking God to give me insight and wisdom as to what He has in store for me and what He wants me to do. Whatever it is, I feel certain that He has planned certain things around me and I am just in awe. I am not really thrilled because there are some things that I really just shouted and cried and demanded to know from God, ‘why does it have to be this way?’.

But even through the shouting and crying and sniffing and swallowing of tears, I know God is here with me and He knows my pain. And really, there’s no better place to be than to know you are in the middle of God’s plan. It takes a lot of obedience and discipline and denying of my sinful self, but I am trying to do it everyday, slowly, bit by bit.

Jiayou everyone. He is really good. Whatever you are facing, just hang in there and don’t do anything silly. Well, try to. I know it won’t be easy, that’s why God’s here.

Watched the Harry Potter bloopers sometime back.

So they would take turns to focus on each character’s pet peeves while acting.

The one that cracked me up the most was when they said Rupert Grint just keeps sniggering for no apparent reason, and at all the wrong moments, which greatly affects the other actors too. Then they proceeded to show the clips as evidence.

‘Rupert, stop smiling!’

‘Rupert, stop smiling.’

‘Ruperttttt, don’t smile!!’

‘Rupert.’

‘You are not supposed to look happy when you find out your best friend is about to get killed by Snape’

Just had to post this because I still find it super amusing.

 

baby cell

Thank God for my baby cell.

Thank God for Alvin, Jingjing, Yanhui, Junyi, Jiachen, Gerald and Supeng.

Words alone cannot describe how blessed I have been by these kids. And how I wish I could see them grow up to be wonderful, God-fearing Christians that speak life and love into the people they meet. It’s amazing how God created each and every one of them the way they are. One huge reason why I wish I was attached to someone who is crazy about God and discipling is so that I can provide more for them. You could probably even feel me being slightly apologetic about it. My partner can mentor and disciple them, especially especially the boys. If I were married, I could easily open up my place and have them over all the time.

Free? Drop by! Come talk to me. Let’s talk about the Bible, let’s talk about God, let’s talk about what you think He has been teaching you. I want to hear all about it. Please drop by. When are you coming by again? What new things are you up to?

Sometimes I wonder, if God loves us this way x 232957837582 ?? Because you know what, it really hurts. It’s super sweet and super bitter and super fragile to hold in your hands. Almost like water running through your fingers into a basin that allows that same water to leak out slowly, drop by drop. You can see the droplets, but you can’t mend the crack.

And sometimes, I fear I cannot let go. I feel like getting another basin to catch the leaking water. What’s the point of giving them to me only for a while, when I want to keep them forever?

But they are not mine to keep. I got to remember that.

Before things change, enjoy the moment and the love, and thank God immensely for the times He has given us.

scarlet tears

I think one of the reasons that people don’t know other people’s pain is because tears are transparent. If everyone cried scarlet tears, then it would be easier to see each other’s pain. And in wiping away those tears on my hand, that person’s pain will be on my hand too.

Dr Han Jin Woo, God’s Quiz Season 4.

 

Is the old scriptwriter back or something?

Awesome lines. Season 3 was just… a bit disappointing.

 

And it continues!!

But I think God has a reason for making our tears transparent. Tears aren’t a signal of pain, but a signal of healing. And because tears are needed to wash away pain and longing.

Quit drama writing and go into lyrics writing man!