There was this song that was played on the last day of Hillsong Conference 2016, and I cried so hard. I think it was the first time it was heard in public, and the first time it was officially recorded and released too. I have tried and failed to find a proper version with chords online (and only had sufficient time, talent and tenacity to figure out the chorus). And today, I just felt like I wanted to sing it again, because I feel my entire existence quiver in fear when I go through the lyrics.
As tempted as I am to post the whole song up, I am sure that it will be distracting. This is the part that speaks to my heart and my heart sings about, and has been singing about it for the past few months.
Let there be light
Open the eyes of the blind
Purify our hearts in Your fire
Breathe in us we pray
Let there be light
Open our eyes to Your heart
Desperate just to know who You are
Shine in us we pray
Jesus, have Your way
When I met up with Suwei the other day, I was telling him that I was getting really sick of ‘religion’ as it is. I just really wanted to know who God is, and as selfish as it sounds, it’s all that matters to me now. I don’t want to know God from another person, I don’t want to hear what He has been doing, I don’t want to stand from afar and watch God do something, I just want to see Him and know Him and feel Him for myself.
And you know, maybe you read the lyrics and wonder if ‘the blind’ refers to non-Christians. I somehow keep seeing myself as someone who is blind, and desperate to have my sight healed by God. I feel that many Christians are blind too, and searching in the dark. So near yet so far, because they don’t realise how blind they are and how close they are to the solution. That is true blindness.
Well, I am glad that there’s some company on this journey, at the very least. It’s amazing to see how God groups people together in this current climate, but I want more than that.
I am not coming from a place of doubt. I am merely desperate to catch a glimpse of my God. But yet, I wonder if I will be satisfied with just a glimpse.
I want everything, and anything that God has to give, and I know He is God of all that I need and all that I want.
Be blessed, and cry away if you must.
May your soul meet God in the beautiful place. 🙂