lonely walks

it was quite a fun day at work, just because there’s someone who knows how to make me laugh, even if it’s over the dumbest stuff.

after all the laughs and attention, it felt like a rather lonely walk home. It happens often especially after being out with people, and then when i face myself again, i feel like ‘hey, it’s me.. and me again. feels kinda nice but is this how it’s supposed to be? not too sure about that.’

should really rein in such feelings. it won’t be productive and just super self-destructive.

it does feel great that there are real actual people who seem to really delight in seeing me smile, and enjoy being in my presence (or at least make me feel that way).

but i don’t suppose that’s all to life uh.. that would be super unsatisfying.

or maybe sometimes i just don’t know what’s real anymore.

I think.

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