movies

movies have become personal again..i don’t know why now.

i feel kinda bad rejecting the poor guy who is just trying to be a nice friend, probably just a kind invitation, upon sensing my excitement when i talk about movies.

i really considered the whole thing seriously. perhaps overdid the thinking.. but i just couldn’t imagine being in the cinema with just anyone. good and bad things have happened in the cinema – some of which i would love to forget, but they just become lessons learnt, and mistakes never to repeat.

i wonder why my trust issues extend even to watching movies. it could be that i really love the feeling of relaxing in the theatre.

in the dark, i could truly be myself and mentally let all my inhibitions go, even if it’s just for a short two hours, and truly have an open heart and mind to receive whatever the movie was going to show me. i could be an impressionable child on the inside and no one will find out.

in the dim lighting of the theatre, i feel like no one can read my expressions and know my secrets. no one will ask me questions, no one will interrogate me, no one will be there to halt my thought processes and attempt to persuade me to think otherwise.

in the movie, i can leave my burdensome world and all of its nonsensical problems behind. i don’t have to worry, it’s almost as if time stopped and i could freely enter another world. be it a stupid and unrealistic one, or an exciting fantastical one, or a mysterious one or adventurous one…i could soak myself in all of it.

and when i have realised all of this, how can i simply let anyone into this space? how can anyone just casually demand to enter and intrude on this space?

i can’t do it at all.

group movies are kinda differentttttt…. but still somewhat sacred to the extent i have to sit with comfortable people.

 

but i do thank God for some very comfortable people who have earned a right to be in this space, and when i think of a movie, i will be the one asking them out. maybe it’s because i don’t feel judged and i don’t feel like i am being cornered by their presence and i feel like they can be trusted to share and respect this space.

❤ ❤ thanks guys.

no words can explain how precious it is.

 

also to you who says ‘it’s okay i can wait!’

thankssssss for giving me breathing space.

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