wishing upon the stars tonight

that when i wake up tomorrow morning, i will be a girl with a complete heart

ready to love and ready to receive

ready to trust and ready to live

 

why is it so so much harder to walk out of emotional scars? why does the world work that way? why do we function that way?

 

so tiring to be me and yet feel like i can’t escape my own whirlpool of toxic thoughts, and destructive patterns. being my own victim.. ain’t fun at all.

 

i want to see what’s real and what’s not. i don’t just want to believe in the best, i want to know that the best is the truth.

 

so naive though.

 

most unromantic but very sincere thought – i wish it would just be like a mosquito bite, itch really bad for a while. if you don’t irritate it further by scratching, it eventually goes away, and never to be seen again. but if you don’t have enough self-control, you are gonna draw blood and that wound would end up having to stay for a while.

 

feeling so sucky about life that i struggle to believe the good things people say to me and about me. i doubt and i second-guess and i withdraw and i tune out.

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