christmas 2016

has been utterly amazing.

i spent almost the entire day with jen and eugene.

the day was incredibly unexpected and filled with good company and food. it’s not what i would have imagined, or would have hoped for i suppose? But, it turned out very well and special.

church service, good sashimi, good coffee and intelligent friends – what more could one ask for?

words cannot express how special this year is. not all special in good ways, but just uniquely 2016. whatever it is, i am thankful for all the people who hurt me this year because if not for you guys, 2016 wouldn’t be a year of me discovering myself and the friends i need to go on. so, thanks for breaking my heart? haha. it’s good, it’s all good.

i am thankful for this journey once again. it may come to an end really soon, but yeah, again, thankful, thankful, thankful.

vivien, don’t ever forget this special christmas. ❤

searching

Setting the world right one person at a time

to teach them to know God

to love others in the right way

to bring light into the darkness

to bring heaven to earth

to teach them how to praise,

not just with music, or words

but with every fibre of their being.

that whatever they have, or

whatever in the past, or

whoever people tell them they are,

they may know and recognize

that they are children of the living God and..

they can live free, as such.

my mind takes an off day..

maybe?

I am supposed to be on shift at 1pm but it’s 1:05pm and I am still sitting at home. Life is tiring these days. Times when I just want to sleep and never wake up – yes, slightly morbid, I know.

I will eventually get to work and churn out my stuff on time – for those in the crowd hyperventilating at the thought of my irresponsible adult-ness.

Yesterday was quite a good day at work just because I felt like I have friends who love me more than my church does. :/ Kinda embarrassing to admit it, but it’s true, and gosh, it feels good to be loved and acknowledged and affirmed. Sometimes, that’s what keeps a person alive, doesn’t it?

There is a big day coming up next week. I feel like I am regressing, very quickly in fact, to a past version of me, but I can’t pinpoint which version this is. Haha. Which year it was. But it feels familiar.

I can’t wait for the big day to be over and then I can go ‘party’ lol. Even if that means another week of stalking portals and refreshing the same page to see if there’s any progress. Though actually, I feel like going for a really long run to the beach, or maybe even cycle. I haven’t cycled since… well, him. I still have the memories and it doesn’t hurt but I still don’t really like recalling them and seeing the shadows around me. It’s kinda creepy. I do really feel like burying myself deep in something though…. whichhhh i shall figure out when the time comes.

Maybe I would attempt some early spring-cleaning, and finally restart on my Christmas cards – because heartbreak stops me from doing heart work. Haha. Really need to stop staying here and go back to loving my kiddos.